Cable Guy

Oh I see. We're playing prison rules.

Ah one of Jim’s earlier roles, the creepy cable guy with the lisp. Can’t we all agree that we would have been more of a friend to Chip than Matthew Broderick was? Maybe, maybe not, but either way, the man could quote. Let’s get it on.

Drink every time anyone says “Steven.”
Drink for each clear quote from Chip (book, movie, etc.) ex: “women are a labyrinth, my friend.”
Drink any time a TV show or movie is mentioned by name.
Drink whenever Chip is at someone’s door or on the phone.
Drink five seconds whenever Chip sings with the song in the background.
Drink ten seconds for any broken backboard.
Drink ten seconds for any Ricky Ricardo laugh.

There Will Be Blood

I know this isn't a shot from the movie, but I laughed.

Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for this one; as my film-maker friend would say, “he’s one of the only ‘method’ actors left.” Great performance culminating in the powerfully hilarious final scene involving oily milkshakes. “I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!” Let’s get started; there will be beer…

Drink whenever you see fire.
Drink for every mention of “oil.”
Drink each time you see a drill in motion.
Drink whenever the creepy (read: any) violin music plays.
Drink 5 seconds for each time Daniel says “H.W.” or “my son.”
Drink 5 seconds every time Daniel says “plain speech.”
Drink each time you want to punch Eli in the face.
Drink every time Daniel slaps Eli (and also every time he screams like a girl).

Role Models

Now let's gingerly touch our tips.

Possibly the funniest movie of 2008, Role Models opened our eyes to the world of L.A.I.R. (or “live action interactive roleplaying explorers”) and I know all of us looked up the soonest LARP battle in or around our respective cities (or maybe only I did. Here’s a list http://www.larplist.com/mainlist.php?op=wodlist). Let the battle begin…

Drinking Rules:

Drink whenever anyone says L.A.I.R.E.
Drink every time Gayle says B.S. or cocaine.
Drink any time a country from L.A.I.R.E. is said.
Drink 5 seconds every time Ronnie says something racist.
Drink the any time someone uses a ridiculous Olde English phrase.
Drink 10 seconds every time Gayle does something inappropriate with the bagel-dog.
Drink anytime Ronnie names a Ben Affleck movie or calls Danny Ben Affleck.
Drink anytime Wheeler and Danny say something back-to-back while talking to a third person.

The Happening

M. Night Shyamalan movies recently just make me wanna...

Not gonna lie, this movie is hard to watch, and it makes it even worse when you realize that (yeah, spoiler) its just the plants that are making people kill themselves. C’mon M. Night, don’t get involved with this global warming garbage. Just go back to making movies with sick twist endings.

Drinking Rules:

Drink every time someone gruesomely (or not so gruesomely) kills themselves.
Drink whenever Alma emotionally bitch-slaps Elliot.
Drink every time someone asks what’s going on or why it’s happening.
Drink every time they show a shot of Princeton or Philadelphia (I get sentimental).
Drink when the wind is visibly blowing trees, bushes, grass, etc.
Drink ten seconds whenever you see a guy who really sucks at mowing the lawn.

i Robot

Bridget keeps our attention even if the robots can't.

It’s the year 2035, robots are plotting to take over the world, and it reminds me of an old robot joke: “What’s a robot’s favorite cereal?

Rob-os. (Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)”

Drinking Rules:

Drink 5 seconds for a flashback or mention of a premonition or dream.
Drink every time someone mentions the Laws.
Drink whenever Will Smith gets doubted by haters.
Drink every time the bad robots’ red light flashes on (if it was already on, don’t worry about it).
Drink ten seconds each time you see one of the sexy leading actors/actresses in the shower.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

That's a bold strategy Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.

It’s been a while folks, but we’re back by popular demand. Let’s jump right back into the mix with Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, Dodgeball!

Drinking Rules:

Drink whenever Globo-Gym is said.
Drink every time someone says “dodge” or “ball.”
Drink each time Peter asks a question.
Drink whenever anyone gets hit by a ball.
Drink 5 seconds whenever someone fingers their bellybutton.
Drink 5 seconds anytime someone gets hit with something other than a ball (i.e. wrench, giant fat girl, etc.).

Drink ten seconds every time Pepper Brooks says anything (double if he doesn’t understand the concept of a forfeit).

Animal House

you know you make me wanna SHOUT!

The classic in all its glory. Nothing more need be said.

Drinking Rules:

Drink every time a bottle, window, door, or basically anything breaks.
Drink any time anyone gets introduced.
Drink each time the front of a frat or administration building is shown.
Drink every time “Louie Louie” by the Kingsmen plays.
Drink any time someone says the name of a frat (Delta, Omega, etc.)
Drink as much as possible during “Shout” (who ever hasn’t finished their beer by the end is no longer allowed to hang out with you).

Drink (at your discretion) whenever anyone screams.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

insert primal scream here.

Growing up as a huge X-Men fan, this movie was necessary, despite how bad the end of the X-Men trilogy got. I’d get into a debate with anyone to defend the fact that the best/coolest superhero of all time (or at least the one anyone would most want to be) is Wolverine (with the exception of Superman – that’s just too many superpowers to deal with); I mean, he’s got the healing factor, the super animal instincts, the claws (used for everything from opening beer to giving the finger), the super strength, the nasty attitude, the adamantium infusion, and the bad ass cigar. Aside from some bad acting – and some serious doubt over Deadpool’s ultimate superpowers that I don’t remember from the comics – this movie is worth seeing…and worth drinking to.

Drinking Rules:

Drink when someone uses a mutant power (Victor’s nails get longer, Wolvie’s claws come out, etc.).
Drink every time Wolverine removes or puts a cigar in his mouth.
Drink 5 seconds for every Wolverine primal scream.
Drink for any flashback or voice from the past
Drink whenever anyone says “adamantium” or “Victor.”
Drink 10 seconds for each of the 7 post-credits endings you see.

Bring It On: All or Nothing

As though I would pick any other photo.

Okay, at first, I was unhappy about doing this movie. It’s about cheer leading. But then I was reminded how hot Hayden Panettiere is, and the movie got a lot better. It was actually pretty funny, in a frustrating kind of way.

Drinking Rules:

Drink anytime someone talks in IMs.
Drink every time one of the girls flips their hair.
Drink each time someone says “Cheer” or references “never cheering again.”
Drink any time someone says the name of either school (school name or mascot).
Drink every time Rhianna is reference.
Drink ten seconds every time a vaginal piercing is referenced.

Spaceballs

No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again.

Oh Mel, never a disappointment. This spoof of Star Wars begins with the same iconic vertically scrolling text giving us some background before we jump right into the story; the text ends with “If you can still read this, you don’t need glasses.” Lord Dark Helmet is attempting to suck all of the clean air out of planet Druidia with a giant vacuum cleaner, and only Lone Starr and Barf can stop him. With his arsenal of brilliant comedies/parodies, this is the first of many games for Mel Brooks movies, for sure.

Drinking Rules:

Drink anytime a corny Mel Brooks-type joke is made.
Drink anytime you see a space ship from the outside.
Drink whenever anyone says “Dark Helmet,” “Princess,” or “Spaceball(s).”
Drink anytime anyone repeats something that someone else has just said.
Drink for any mention of the Schwartz.